Adopting someone else’s goal is kind of like setting your mind on buying a piece of clothing you see in the shop window..
It looks great from a distance – nice colour, great cut, would be perfect for that dinner thang comin’ up.. so you go and seek.
(credit: Confessions of a Shopaholic)
And it looks a different to what you originally thought.
You find it on the rack – your doubts start rolling in.
The sales assistant takes it to the dressing room for you.
You try it on – the fit is off; it doesn’t flatter at all; the zipper gets stuck at your waist; the colour makes you green (with unease, not envy).
We’ve all done this (I refuse to admit I’m the only one), but I bet if I asked how you came by your current goal, the answer would be very very similar….
The sound of it is appealing, your friend was super motivated to do more and be more whilst focusing on that, so you go for it…
You meet with a coach.
You make the plan.
You do the prep – restriction is probably involved.
And then you start the process, and f#*!ing love it.
…Until you don’t…
You make progress for the sake of making progress, cool, but every day is a grind (#dailygrind aka gaol aka trap) and you’re constantly doubting whether it’s worth the effort. The closer you get to achieving the thing you set out to do, the less satisfied you feel.
You may even do the “But I know I’ll feel good once I’m there”..
Truth #1/1…. if you can’t enjoy more than just meal time in the whole 6+ month process, do you really think you’ll remember how to enjoy something once you ‘get there’?!
It doesn’t belong to you. It was not yours to begin with. Like borrowing a friend’s pants because they fit your friend really well, but you’re a little more jacked than they are so you risk popping a button and/or seam.. and maybe add a few grungy rips in the knee… I am NOT the only person who’s done that, come onnnn. K, lots of clothes analogies.
At the end of the day, your GOAL can be as flimsy or direct as you want. There is ZERO point in pressuring yourself into taking a specific direction unless it actually excites you – and the entire process of the goal, not just the end result.
Here are 4 questions I ask clients and athletes when looking at fresh goals:
- What do you want to look like, feel like, have achieved in 6 months?
- Where are you currently at? Sleep, energy, strength, fitness, contentment – out of 10.
- What’s something new you have seen and would like to try?
- Does it matter if you don’t achieve this? What if it takes 12 months?
Find out what desires you are working with; whether they are truly important; set measurable parameters; and go kick butt. But do it on your terms, for something that FILLS YOUR HEART SPACE UP!
NOTE: It’s completely fine to set goals that excite you and have phases of goals that don’t. If you are content with your decision, do that.